Sunday Scribblings - "The Monster..."

Posted by Tammy

This week's Sunday Scribblings (and amazingly - it is still Sunday!) is 'The Monster..."


The monster in my life isn't really a monster at all, as is usually the case. In my life, the monster is my fears. I have many. Some of them are very irrational, others are more rational, but just as much a monster.

One of the biggest is the fear of thunder. A very irrational fear, yes, I know! However, when this monster rears its ugly head, I am reduced to shaking and hiding under covers. Until recently, I didn't realize where this fear came from, but I think I've pinpointed it. When I was a small girl (probably 6 or 7) we went to Durango, CO every summer for camp. The road leading to the camp was very scary in its own right, but this particular year, it was raining every afternoon, so it was just barely passable. When we (my parents and I) headed up to the camp, it was late afternoon and it was a big rainstorm. Thunder, lightening, the works. We only made it about halfway up before the pick-up slid off the edge - lodging against a tree. My dad was able to get us unstuck and back down the road, going up was no longer an option. I was terrified, and I think this is where this fear came from. We made it safely, but thunder just takes me right back there.

There are many other monster fears in my life. Another biggie is claustrophobia (sp?). I have an intense fear of being enclosed with no way to an exit. Now, amazingly enough, flying doesn't bother me. Elevators, on the other hand, are very hard. I will always wait for a less crowded ride! I do pretty well at avoiding situations that will bother me, but sometimes, they are unavoidable. I try to breathe, stay calm. The unfortunate event of a panic attack happens now and then. Mike has seen me through several pretty big panic attacks - several to do with claustrophobia, and several with other fears.

This is not a cute, lovable monster post - I needed to write about the true monsters in my life. I am aware of most of them, have done some work on most of them, and need to do more work on most of them!

1 Opinions:

paris parfait said...

It's nice you've been able to identify the source of your fear of thunder. And good for you for working on calming your monsters.